I received a letter from Santander at the weekend telling me that my loan account is in arrears. That was news to me, given that as far as I am aware I only have two savings accounts with them (brought over from Bradford & Bingley).

So I rang them this morning as the letter suggests I should, quoting the account number on the letter and giving them details of my name, address and date of birth. So far so good.

I asked them about this alleged loan account and was told it was a Cahoot one. Now as far as I am aware, this was paid off a year or two ago and I even had a letter from them telling me they were taking my final payment by direct debit.

Now in order for Santander to continue the conversation – so I was told – they now needed me to tell them what my monthly payment was. I have no idea: this was a year or two ago and I only get online bank statements that go back six months or a year or whatever with limited details, so there’s no way I have that information. Fail.

They asked me when the loan was taken out. I have no idea! It was years ago and I moved out two years ago and binned most paperwork as I had nowhere to store the masses of papers I’d built up over the years. Fail.

In that case, they said, they wouldn’t continue the call. If I wanted to talk to them, I would need to write and ask them for the details. So let’s get this right: if I write them a letter with the same details I’d given them over the phone, they’d send me all the details I needed which they wouldn’t give me over the telephone! Shurely shome mishtake?

“No,” I said, “if you’re claiming there are some arrears, you need to send me the details of how and why they arose and how they’re calculated.”

Wunch of bankers!

But the irony:

The Oneplace website is busy

Unfortunately the Oneplace website is experiencing high volumes of traffic, please try again later.
We apologise for the inconvenience.

Another attempt at adding a number to the contacts list on my BlackBerry Curve 8900 ends in an uncaught exception, a useless phone and a reboot that takes longer even than a PC!

This is despite my having gone through the troubleshooting of deleting the contacts database and recreating it from scratch – itself requiring me to install the BlackBerry Desktop Software that I don’t want or need and which itself failed to install properly on my laptop.

BlackBerry = FAIL

Oh and a tip: rather than having to remove the battery to get it to reboot after an uncaught exception, use alt-rightshift-del to do the ctrl-alt-del PC equivalent.