What a bunch of incompetents these are. And then to make things worse, they also employ sarcastic chavs to answer the telephone (01246 554237) and ask whether you – the customer – are experts because you have said they could just get the parts at your local Plumb Centre.

That’s after they’ve played you “Alone” by Heart – oh the irony – when they put you immediately on hold!

“Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone”

Well after more than two weeks without heating or hot water, we know what’s it like to be alone and chilled to the bone.

They’ve sent out one guy twice who had no idea what was wrong with the boiler and left it limping and leaking. It died later that night. He came back – after locking himself in another customer’s house – and said it needed a particular part. The guy who came out to fit that said it didn’t and that these other parts needed to be fitted. He had to order them from KIMS’ suppliers and they take three working days to deliver off the shelf parts.

So we still don’t have heating and hot water. Useless twats!